To Die Well, Final Exit, Natural Causes, Il Gattopardo, The Illusion Of Control.

I've just finished reading "Il Gattopardo" by Tomasi Di Lampedusa. It's brilliant. I won't spoil the plot for you, but there is a description of a death, from inside the dying person, which struck me as calm and restful. If I could die like that (sometime in the future) I'd sign up now. 

Because I'm worried about Alzheimer's and incapacity, loss of control, ending up in a care-home bored out of my wits. I read "To Die Well" and "Final Exit", practical guides to self deliverance.

The two books tell you how to kill yourself in a humane way, and give lots of other practical advice. Ideally of course I'll die in my sleep or in a one-victim car crash, a vigorous alert 90 years old.  But just in case. I've read the books and taken notes. I have no idea if I have the courage required.

And still on this topic, "Natural Causes: An Epidemic of Wellness, the Certainty of Dying, and Killing Ourselves to Live Longer" gave me some bad news. The author, Barbara Ehrenreich, had assumed like I did, that keeping fit in old age somehow guaranteed a good death. But she then told of a report which showed that keeping fit in middle and old age only guarantees a long slow decline towards death. The opposite of what she or I want.

Why I assumed that a healthy old age meant a good death, I do not know. We have the illusion of control I suppose.