2015/02/15

How to break the ice at job interviews.

I was taught this trick by my good friend Neil C. of Bath, UK.

Here's how to prepare for the interview. Get a piece of white tissue paper and tear it up into many small pieces:

Now put the pieces in a loose bunch into your pocket, or handbag.

Things may be a bit tense during the interview, even though all parties are smiling at each other. These are fake smiles. You need to put your interviewer/s at his/her/their ease. That way they will feel comfortable with you. And you'll definitely get the job, if you just follow the following instructions...

There will come a moment in which they say, maybe with a fake smile: "And, so, have you got any questions for us?"

Here is your chance. Surreptitiously put your hand into your pocket or handbag and close the loose bunch of tissue fragments into your fist A loose fist:


Take you hand out of the pocket or handbag without drawing attention to it. Now you say:

"Well, actually I do have a question..."

They say: "Yes, please go ahead."

You ask: "Is it possible to have oral sex with a chicken?"

Now, they may be surprised at your question. If there are two or more interviewers then look from one to another as if expecting a reply. But don't wait too long. Maybe 5 or 10 seconds.

Now for the good part. Bringing your loosely clenched fist up to your mouth say "Impossible!". Then cough (hard) through your fist and it will appear as if feathers have just come flying out of your mouth!


(You first should try this at home alone, and then on friends, without any warning, to get the timing and technique just right.)

Oh joy! Your interviewers will be rolling around on the floor. Laughing. ROFL!

Once the hilarity has subsided all you have to do is ask what sort of company car you're going to get and how many weeks of holdays each year you're entitled to.

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