How to break the ice at job interviews.
I was taught this trick by my good
friend Neil C. of Bath, UK.
Here's how to prepare for the
interview. Get a piece of white tissue paper and tear it up into many
small pieces:
Now put the pieces in a loose bunch
into your pocket, or handbag.
Things may be a bit tense during the
interview, even though all parties are smiling at each other. These
are fake smiles. You need to put your interviewer/s at his/her/their
ease. That way they will feel comfortable with you. And you'll
definitely get the job, if you just follow the following instructions...
There will come a moment in which they
say, maybe with a fake smile: "And, so, have you got any
questions for us?"
Here is your chance. Surreptitiously
put your hand into your pocket or handbag and close the loose bunch
of tissue fragments into your fist A loose fist:
Take you hand out of the pocket or
handbag without drawing attention to it. Now you say:
"Well, actually I do have a
question..."
They say: "Yes, please go ahead."
You ask: "Is it possible to have
oral sex with a chicken?"
Now, they may be surprised at
your question. If there are two or more interviewers then look from
one to another as if expecting a reply. But don't wait too long.
Maybe 5 or 10 seconds.
Now for the good part. Bringing your
loosely clenched fist up to your mouth say "Impossible!".
Then cough (hard) through your fist and it will appear as if feathers
have just come flying out of your mouth!
(You first should try this at home alone, and then on friends, without any warning, to get the timing and technique just right.)
Oh joy! Your interviewers will be rolling around on the floor. Laughing. ROFL!
Once the hilarity has subsided all you
have to do is ask what sort of company car you're going to get and
how many weeks of holdays each year you're entitled to.
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