I may be out.

The conversation should have gone like this:

Me: So, I'll pop in some time next weekend.

Him: Phone first because I may be out.

Me: Ok. Bye.

The conversation actually went like this:

Me: So, I'll pop in some time next weekend.

Him: Phone first because I may be out.

Me: Ok. Bye.

Him: I might have to go to the shops.

Me: Ok.

Him: Or, you know, have the car serviced. Or pick up some cash from the cash machine. You know. I might be out. Shopping, you know. For food. Or clothes. Or something else. Like washing up liquid. I might go to the supermarket, but the bread is better in the local shops.

Me: Ah.

Him: If it is raining I'll take the car and go to the supermarket, even though it is further. I might be out for any number of reasons. Pick up the kids. Take Bobby to karate. Or Sophia to dance. You know. Then I have to get my bike checked, something wrong with the gears. I might be out doing that. Or I might go out for a quick drink. To the local pub. Not great, but local. So I might go there for a swift pint.

Me: Hmm.

As if only a complete list of all possible reasons for his absence is the only way I will be able to understand what he means. Maybe I do look thick, but not that thick, surely.